A Game of Cards
by Scision
Summary: Songfic. Nighttime by The Birthday Massacre. Lily finally decides how she feels after years of deceiving that James Potter right and left, leaving him confused till now. James/Lily, 6th or 7th year.


**Disclaimer: See front page.  
**_Another songfic. I like doing these for some reason... Oh and it does turn out happy, even though the song lyrics remain sad throughout. The song I used is Nighttime By The Birthday Massacre. Their songs are pretty, I recommend them. (so lyrics (c) them)_

_Anyway, James/Lily._

* * *

**A Game of Cards**

* * *

It was a late evening in Gryffindor common room, where cold breaths of air would have whispered to the window panes if not for the bright fire's crackling voice singing over them.

Lily stared mildy interested at the raindrops that skipped down the glass, but more so at her reflection; The raindrops made the illusion that tears were escaping the window girl's emerald eyes, but in truth, Lily wasn't crying.

**  
_I think it happened at nighttime,  
_**_**A cold rain drizzled down from space.**_

"Lily. I'm not really sure anymore," she heard a voice behind her say, as expected. "I've always loved you all these years, and you know that. You don't _really _hate me, do you? Can't you at least treat me nice the way I do?"

"Nice? Good one, James... but you're right... I shouldn't have said that.. but I've said it to you loads of times, before, haven't I?"

"Yeah, maybe... but those times I was never really serious, so neither were you."

"Are you ever?"

"I am right now."

_**Hiding tears from streetlight eyes,  
I saw the same familiar face.**_

Lily bit her tongue and turned to face the owner of the voice who sported forever unruly black hair and hazel eyes that always held warmth, like the glittering fire, but not right now. Not tonight.

"I _have _been nice to you. Sometimes..." Lily said. But she did have to admit to herself, Potter always had good intention; he never failed to make her feel good about herself, always complimenting her to make her feel fluttery and springy inside, even if those compliments were always delivered, free of charge, with a question of dating James.

And she had to admit, there were those fleeting moments that Lily appreciated him with all his jokes and poking fun, that she actually liked his presence, and wanted to say yes. She did love him back.

_**Something pseudo TV love,****  
A mixed up girl who's something of  
A fairytale's romantic dream come true.**_

But she knew there was a creature that strained at its chain-link leash, nagging and fighting to be free of the sturdy and stable fence that was her mind, longing to chase after something on the other side. It was lonely and dearly desired to play with someone or something other than the wilting plants and dirt bunnies, stare at something besides the depressing walls of the pen.

It was this creature Lily was afraid of granting liberty. She did not want it to be hurt, wounded, or injured. She didn't want to be put in a position of pain.

And so she would protect this creature by building the fence even higher, boarding up the tiniest cracks with wooden planks, leaving the sharp ends of nails poking out with menace.

_**She breaks my heart and blurs my eyes,****  
Her love is never easy.  
A magic made for tragic minds.**_

"Am I just not good enough?" James said, anxiously. "If I'm not, then tell me what's wrong. What I can change."

"Not everything can change."

"Well then that's not true. I'd do anything for you."

_**And thinking back I should have known  
That she could see right through me,**_**_  
And I would end up on my own._**

Another one of those things that roused the creature in her thoughts.

"I'm sorry I'm so...vague with you, for lack of better word, James... I really am," she began with a shrug.

"I think addressing me as a bloody bastard, an insensitive prick and a halfwitted loser as well as a number of other things hardly count as 'vague,' " James said coldly but with an audible snicker.

"Sorry. I probably called you all those names because that's what you were at the time... But..."

_**Gazing through my window,**_**_  
She glittered like the starlit rain._**

"Yeah?" he urged, taking a fraction of a step closer.

"Oh, I don't know," Lily said irritably. "I guess I... just have a fear of being heartbroken... I don't want to feel disappointed, then abandoned and forgotten..."

What the creature didn't know that she did, was that no matter how tough and resolute it seemed against that barrier, it was vulnerable and probably didn't know better.

James was an arm's length away from Lily, so he took her palm reassuringly and said, "I'd never do that. I really promise that I wouldn't use you, then abandon and forget you altogether. Or disappoint you, either, I hope."

_**Whispering tales of broken hearts.**_**_  
She told me things would never change._  
**  
Somehow, Lily knew he wasn't lying, or joking. It was obvious yet amazing at the same time when you could tell when he was being his jaunty, laidback self, and when he was being thoughtful and quite down-to-earth.

"Still... as much as I'd like to believe you, but not saying I don't-"

"Then what's the matter?" James demanded quietly. He lead her over, although she was reluctant to move, to one of the scarlet couches that surrounded audience-like at the dancing flames that performed in its stone wall theater. "If you believe me, then I believe you."

When Lily said nothing as they sat on the squashy cushions, he went on. "You're really beautiful, you know. Percipient, aspiring, accomadating-"

**And for a time our love was almost real.**_**  
There was only so much words could say.  
We closed our eyes and dreamed away.**_

Lily gave a slight smirk, observing the fine lines on James's face that were drawn by the firelight. "James, do you even know what those words mean?"

"Indeed, I do, otherwise I wouldn't be calling you them. I do love you a lot, you know."

"Of course... 7 years is a long time to tell someone that if they didn't know, they'd be be the most oblivious, senseless and stupid person in the world."

James took a deep breath. "Exactly. Lily... you're like... the music that keeps me dancing all the time, and the words in a book that makes me want to read forever!" he said, an odd sense of excitement growing in him. "And also the cards that I reshuffle over and over... but no matter how many times I do, I'm still stuck playing Solitaire."

_**She breaks my heart and blurs my eyes,****  
Her love is never easy.  
A magic made for tragic minds.**_

He spoke this last sentence with a slight touch of despondence. Lily knew why; it was her preventing the whole thing the entire time. Nothing was wrong with him. The creature in her head scratched hopefully at the locked gate.

"I'm sorry, James... for I don't know, anything. Everything. Maybe that deck of cards can be shuffled again and we'll start a new game."

_**And thinking back I should have known  
That she could see right through me,**_**_  
And I would end up on my own._**

There was a brief pause, and James grinned. "Can it be the game where you're the Queen and I'm the King?"

Mentally opening the padlocked fence that barred off the isolated creature in her mind, Lily set it free, watching it as it bounded off into the night, and somehow felt considerably lighter than before.

She then hesitated for a moment, looking into James's now radiant eyes, before meeting her illuminated lips with his. "That sounds like a fun game to me."


End file.
